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Literature by 96DarkAngel

Literature by CoRkY97

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Submitted on
August 20, 2011
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10 (who?)
I hide away from the world, I know the pain out there.
I hear it from my cell's window, the world is not so fair.

The world in here is cold and dark,
but my mind creates a light.
Still I hear my friend's voices,
we never have to fight.

And  never do I hurt within my mind.
Thus I hide away.
I know the world beyond these walls,
sufferers day by day.

I cant say what went wrong.
there's  not much I CAN say.
I've learned it's best to simply watch.
As the world wastes away.

Was it greed or was it lust?
Was it the human mind?
Could it be that human pain is caused by human kind?

Where are MY fires?
Where's MY gun?
Where are the instruments which humans use for FUN?

Where are the desires,
Which humans claim to shun.
Man would run from man, as the night would from the sun.

Though my eyes are fading, and my legs are lame,
I fear I no longer play this human game.
This sense of humanity is another sense tamed.

We were all together,
in that place from which we came.
And should you call me "monster"
I'd say that we're the same.

I'm locked away, and yet somehow I'm free.
Up here, alone, there's no one else to bother me.
Though once I was chained, I oddly feel levity.
The locks gave way when I let go of Humanity.

The humans all say I went insane,
But I say that I now see.
They say that I am different..
But how different can humans be?

Man to man,
Girl to girl,

They are all the same.

I smell the blood.
I hear the guns...

We are all insane.
The idea just kinda.. hit me one day. life gets in your face, BAAHH their all crazy :P
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Momo587 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! kekeke .. I really can relate deeply to some parts of your poem .. and as a whole, it is just amazing!
This is exactly what is going on all around, exactly how I feel and how some people see me! .. I applaud your brilliance in writing this poem My dear sir :clap:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012
Thank you very much! You are too kind <3
Momo587 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My Pleasure (^-^)
Izzyosaur Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
The first two lines reminded me of Emily Dickenson, but are you sure you didn't mean fair? I'm a little confused by your use of 'fare.' I've typically found that to be used in conjunction with market places

You seem to have three different forms going at once which makes it seem rather disjointed, as thought they were meant to be separate.

Just a few observations, feel free to ignore them.
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011
Done and done :D
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
I could never ignore a Critique!
Yes, You're right about the fair part, I always thought it looked wrong, but I always just skimmed over it in passing.

As for the disjointed forms, that was no accident. I chose how best to write so as that I wold convey the emotion best. I had a point, and being chained down to a specific form was too... human. Far too much so for my taste, in the moment at least.
Izzyosaur Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Too human? I'm afraid I disagree, but that is neither here nor there

I'm not sure all the forms communicated it effectively because you started to lose me when you changed them up so much. Possibly because in addition to the form, you started to change the focus too. Remaining on one focus might help it a little more than changing those two important elements at the same time.

You could probably keep the change in focus, but I would recommend lengthening it so that you can shift the focus in a more subtle manner.
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
Again, I value your opinion greatly. I don't see the flaws which you see... but that's likely because it is most easy to convey ones thoughts to oneself.
Perhaps it will grow in time, who knows. Thanks again :)
ME-Jones Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Student Writer
This is good, but there is no submitting to the featured gallery in :iconlit-news:, and I don't think this is good for our current prompt, sorry.
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
GAAAH I'm sorry!
I forgot to change where it was being sent to, blah :(
Do I remove it, or can you?
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