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Literature by 96DarkAngel

Literature by CoRkY97


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Submitted on
August 20, 2011
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I hide away from the world, I know the pain out there.
I hear it from my cell's window, the world is not so fair.

The world in here is cold and dark,
but my mind creates a light.
Still I hear my friend's voices,
we never have to fight.

And  never do I hurt within my mind.
Thus I hide away.
I know the world beyond these walls,
sufferers day by day.

I cant say what went wrong.
there's  not much I CAN say.
I've learned it's best to simply watch.
As the world wastes away.

Was it greed or was it lust?
Was it the human mind?
Could it be that human pain is caused by human kind?

Where are MY fires?
Where's MY gun?
Where are the instruments which humans use for FUN?

Where are the desires,
Which humans claim to shun.
Man would run from man, as the night would from the sun.

Though my eyes are fading, and my legs are lame,
I fear I no longer play this human game.
This sense of humanity is another sense tamed.

We were all together,
in that place from which we came.
And should you call me "monster"
I'd say that we're the same.

I'm locked away, and yet somehow I'm free.
Up here, alone, there's no one else to bother me.
Though once I was chained, I oddly feel levity.
The locks gave way when I let go of Humanity.

The humans all say I went insane,
But I say that I now see.
They say that I am different..
But how different can humans be?

Man to man,
Girl to girl,

They are all the same.

I smell the blood.
I hear the guns...

We are all insane.
The idea just kinda.. hit me one day. life gets in your face, BAAHH their all crazy :P
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:iconmomo587:
Momo587 Featured By Owner Oct 3, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
Thank you! kekeke .. I really can relate deeply to some parts of your poem .. and as a whole, it is just amazing!
This is exactly what is going on all around, exactly how I feel and how some people see me! .. I applaud your brilliance in writing this poem My dear sir :clap:
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012
Thank you very much! You are too kind <3
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:iconmomo587:
Momo587 Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist General Artist
My Pleasure (^-^)
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:iconizzyosaur:
Izzyosaur Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
The first two lines reminded me of Emily Dickenson, but are you sure you didn't mean fair? I'm a little confused by your use of 'fare.' I've typically found that to be used in conjunction with market places

You seem to have three different forms going at once which makes it seem rather disjointed, as thought they were meant to be separate.

Just a few observations, feel free to ignore them.
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 5, 2011
Done and done :D
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
I could never ignore a Critique!
Yes, You're right about the fair part, I always thought it looked wrong, but I always just skimmed over it in passing.

As for the disjointed forms, that was no accident. I chose how best to write so as that I wold convey the emotion best. I had a point, and being chained down to a specific form was too... human. Far too much so for my taste, in the moment at least.
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:iconizzyosaur:
Izzyosaur Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011  Hobbyist General Artist
Too human? I'm afraid I disagree, but that is neither here nor there

I'm not sure all the forms communicated it effectively because you started to lose me when you changed them up so much. Possibly because in addition to the form, you started to change the focus too. Remaining on one focus might help it a little more than changing those two important elements at the same time.

You could probably keep the change in focus, but I would recommend lengthening it so that you can shift the focus in a more subtle manner.
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
Again, I value your opinion greatly. I don't see the flaws which you see... but that's likely because it is most easy to convey ones thoughts to oneself.
Perhaps it will grow in time, who knows. Thanks again :)
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:iconme-jones:
ME-Jones Featured By Owner Dec 3, 2011  Student Writer
This is good, but there is no submitting to the featured gallery in :iconlit-news:, and I don't think this is good for our current prompt, sorry.
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
GAAAH I'm sorry!
I forgot to change where it was being sent to, blah :(
Do I remove it, or can you?
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:iconme-jones:
ME-Jones Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011  Student Writer
I already removed it, no worries :)
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
Pheewf :P
I'm really sorry for the inconvenience!
By the way, I like your group idea, very smart.. and as far as I can tell, original!
I see it going very well :)
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:iconme-jones:
ME-Jones Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011  Student Writer
Don't worry about it at all.

Thank you!
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011
Phewf :P
And you're very welcome!
ALSO, if you are interested at all, or know anyone who would be, My group " Truly-poetic " Is a smaller group, which is more or less a review group. I'm not a member, so I can't "critique" but I do enjoy it.. and so I made a group where the people are meant to do just that. help one another.
Though... I am a bit behind on the reviews, school, work, moving... whatnot excuses.... lmao.
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:iconme-jones:
ME-Jones Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2011  Student Writer
Sounds interesting, I'll take a look at it during my winter break :)
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:iconmemberofmadness:
MemberofMadness Featured By Owner Nov 30, 2011  Student Writer
Oh. My. God. This is pure amazingness. Words cannot even describe... I'll come back later. After I go walk around in a daze for the rest of the day.
Ooh, I have a quick analogy! If you play Sims, you know when they see a celebrity and they're like "STARSTRUCK!" with the crazy glasses and everything? That's how amazing this is.
And I swear I'm not one of those video game obsessed people (Shush, Conscious, I'm not ready for people to know yet!), that just came to my mind suddenly.
But I will admit to being insane...
*walks off in daze, tripping over sad face*
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
And no worries, your secret is safe with me ;)
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2011
LMAO!
THAT ^^^ was amazing.
Thank you so much for this comment, by the way. Honestly, I am very proud of this piece. I find it holds a nice deep meaning, all the while being fun to read.... perfect poetry! (or.. at least as close as I seem to get).
If you're interested, I have a poem posted called The days to follow the Last. It's a about zombies... Naturally, I love it.
Lmao, run on paragraph...
Thanks again!!
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:iconwheaties13:
Wheaties13 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
That was really good! I was all like 'Whoa'. The only thing i could point out is all the lower case 'i's. Aside from that, it was amazing. I felt like it was in the poem. Fantastic.
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011
Lol, I wrote this back in the days where i didn't mind my cases so much.
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:iconwheaties13:
Wheaties13 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011  Hobbyist Writer
lol it's alright. One of my teachers a while back conditioned me to spot that. xD
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011
ahhh I understand :P :)
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Aug 27, 2011
BLAH sent too soon!
thanks very much! :D it's one of my better poems :)
Just to humor me, you could always check out "in the days to follow the last". It's my FAVORITE thing which i have written. It's not perfect... but it's about zombies..... so it's a big WIN :) (lmao).
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:iconwwhitewolf229w:
wWhiteWolf229w Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
bene very very good....this is a perfection
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:iconsimpson240:
Simpson240 Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2011
Thank you! :D :party:
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:iconwwhitewolf229w:
wWhiteWolf229w Featured By Owner Aug 23, 2011  Hobbyist Artist
welcomz
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